It came back unexpectedly—a memory that had remained hidden for 50 years, a “Roxanne Volkert” moment.
I was raised in a doctrinally rigid, emotionally frigid home and, as a child, felt very insecure and starved for affirmation. (As you can imagine, this led to some very poor choices on my part in my adult years, but I’ve learned and grown. God and I are still working on that insatiable need for affirmation.) Recently, a particular memory pulled me back to my childhood: I was maybe six years old and in church standing by my mother when Roxanne Volkert approached us. She was a beautiful woman, a wife and mother. Through my six year old eyes, she was a blond angel sent by God. She leaned over and, smiling at me, said to my mother, “He’s such a beautiful boy.”
End of memory. End of any contact with Roxanne Volkert.
I have not seen her in fifty years. This much I know: I drew her words of affirmation into my soul and psyche. Those few words that she spoke about me were so powerful that, fifty years later, I still cherish them and bask in their warmth.
This is a twofold testimony. First, it attests to the powerful abilities of the mind to recall and store God-given experiences. More importantly, it suggests that our words and actions have much more impact and influence than we realize. I’m sure Roxanne Volkert was not on a mission to be charitable and reach out to the down-trodden little Steves of the world. She was simply expressing an affirmation. She didn’t give it a second thought and surely would have no memory of that brief conversation. But, for me, those words constituted validation and blessing and have stuck with me for decades.
I encourage you to create memories. You and I have no idea of the power of our everyday words, our acts of seemingly ordinary kindness. Do not allow words to remain internalized; speak them. If you get one of those “nudgings,” act upon it. You have no idea the blessing, the affirmation, you may be imparting.
I encourage you to create Roxanne Volkert moments in the lives of others. I know from experience that those moments can last a lifetime.
